So you want your pet to have an account.

A brief note from the editors: we asked Moose, a two-year-old labradoodle with the work ethic of a mid-career poet, to give us his best advice for starting a pet social media account. He paused to consider, stretched, and then dictated the following to his human. We edited lightly for spelling.

1. Start with one photo.

Don't worry about a 'feed.' Don't pick a brand. Don't think about a grid. Take one photo today that makes you feel something. Post it. You can figure out the rest tomorrow.

2. Caption like a friend, not a marketer.

'Puppy love ♥️🐾✨' is not a caption. It is a press release. Try this instead: 'Found Moose asleep in the dryer-warm laundry again. He has priorities.' A caption is just a note from you to one friend. Your pet account is just a group chat with a thousand friends you haven't met yet.

3. Don't chase every trend.

I did the dance one time. It wasn't me. I am a contemplative animal. I like naps, long walks, and staring meaningfully at doors. That's my brand. Yours might be different. Whatever it is, know it, and let your pet be that, not a version of someone else's pet.

4. Post less than you think you should.

A single perfect photo of your cat in a sunbeam beats six okay ones. Social media is full of people over-posting and under-saying. Leave space.

5. Pick your room.

This is the part my human wanted me to say. The platform matters. TikTok is a stage. Instagram is a magazine. PetMeet is a living room - a quieter one, where the people who are reading your post actually have a dog and won't just scroll past yours. Choose the room that fits the thing you're trying to say.

6. The rules, as I understand them.

1. Specific beats generic.
2. Kind beats clever.
3. Real beats perfect.
4. Your pet doesn't care about followers. Remember that.

That's what I've got. Go make something. I'm going to go stare at the door.